Entering The Dream / Breathe

Entering the Dream

My shaman eye opens. I sense the swirling vibrating energy of my second chakra. It is expanding. I direct my attention to this area. Feeling the pulse, letting it merge with my awareness, I drift, back and forth, then I begin to spiral along with the red energy current. I shift my form to the formless and enter the dream.

I am momentarily suspended in a space unknown. I trust and surrender that I am supported and guided. Unfamiliar energy and no visible landscape are what I am feelings. I then hear a voice, my guide unseen, say to me: “You are not breathing deep enough.” As this is said I get an image of my energy body trying to take shape. I am a spherical space of awareness. I begin to breathe more deeply, into my very being, pulling the energy into my spherical self. I see my shape shifting, changing forms. I am expanding into a larger area of awareness and it’s as if I need to fill my being with lightbreath, so that I may become as the ethers and move freely. I am like a balloon that has filled myself up so I can fly, float through walls, ceilings, dimensional doorways.

I slip into a room full of Asian type objects. I am completely fascinated looking around. I tend to like to look for dates on objects, which I never find, being outside of the construct of time, I think. Is this due to my study of Buddhism? Why Asian? Symbols, statues and a T.V. is playing what looks like a version of Abbott and Costello, Costello as the laughing Buddha, making jokes on this black and white T.V. Everything else is in color. I chuckle in amusement and move along.

It has been my intention to ask guides for answers as to my path and what steps to take. How do I use this multidimensional awareness and dream work in the 3D reality? So far it seems to be addressing the lesson of deep breathing, and lightening up! But I am in search for something more than that! Where are the other worlds and being that I have met before? I want to go there! But I am here now. I fill myself up again, with the breath of awareness and shift again.

I find myself flying over what are like barracks of some kind. It is black and white again. People are reaching up towards me. They can see me? They can see me! Or they sense me. I float along and see disturbing things. Emaciated women and their children. Strange encounters that I do not quite understand. I think that I am not to understand. This is a distortion from my perspective. But I am relating to my 3D self. I fly along and reach out and feel some arms that have been outstretched towards me. I touch them. I feel the fingertips, the physicality of them.

Why am I not outside of these walls? I long for the openness of the universe and sky. But it is not to be this dream journey. What have I seen. Where have I been. How do you name a place outside of ordinary reality? Did I witness my own being in these other faces? I am floating along and catch a glimpse of myself in a long mirror. I am like a blurred out image, moving along. I have a body but there is some kind of a veil, a cloud and murkiness. I can see my eyes and face as if looking through smoke. Interesting!

The vibration is getting stronger. It is sweet exquisiteness. It unfolds me and unfolds within me. I slow down. Down into my body, in my bed, I am back. My eyes are closed but wide open. I breathe it in. Deep full whole being breaths. It is being pulled into all of me. I breathe it into my chakras, intending for the flow to my heart and up. It is radiating and merging . It then gradually subsides as I open my eyes again, within the 3D dream of this life.

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The Dreaming Self

As a dreamer you have access to other dimensions, multiverses, non-abiding laws of physics, unlimited creative potential and guidance from the soul. Becoming aware of yourself dreaming opens up a whole other area of life, the dreaming night life. After all we spend hours of each day in another state of being, another form of being aware. We all dream, its just that many do not remember their dreams. The more I am aware of messages and promptings from my soul through my dreaming, the richer my waking life and dream life become. Those who know me know I have a vast, extensive, amazing dreamwalking experiences consistently over the years. These are not just dreams, they are experiences as “real” as any in waking day life, in fact they feel intensely more “real” to me. We have different dreams, processing, inquiring, disturbing, enlightening, and much in-between. To be aware of yourself in the dream, to wake up in the dream, I believe relates to waking up in life as well. We can gain a wider infinite expansion of our self, and our potential. Many great artists, poets, scientists have been given answers in this in-between worlds state of being. There is much to be learned and taken into life from our dream life. Jung did extensive dreamwork and journaled and wrote much on the richness and experiences he had. It was a major part of his work and treasured part of his life. I find that to be true for me. I treasure and look forward to the dreamtime. I think the ability to lift the veil and take from our dream guidance and messages and see how it spills into our daily life via synchronicity is empowering and connecting.  Dreams can be prophetic alerting us to potentials and give us solutions to problems and also can give us unusual creative ways to work with the messages that we receive. This is what I have been working on lately. I found myself dancing as a cloud, with other cloud spirit beings, flying and shapeshifting. I have lots of frequent flyer miles in my dreams. Its almost as exciting and thrilling as seeing new places and visiting others that I have been before. So I thought as I was above and having such fun, how can I bring this element into my life? What could I do? Sky dive I thought? No. Notice the wind on my skin and go back to that feeling? Watch the clouds and project myself there? I thought I am a skydancer! I love that. Upon waking I googled a name that came up in my dreams, which led me to look up skydancer and I found a book with that title. It had to due with the Dakini and teachings in Buddhism, having to do with the feminine/ woman essence. Its essence gave me the message that the openness  spaciousness and receptivity of woman, the spiritual power of the Dakini is what energy  I could  be in the world. It was perfectly tied into other dreambody experiences that have been increasing in frequency and intensity. It all flowed from one space to another and I felt connected to a much larger part of self. An eternal, conscious aware self. Who is that that perceives when dreaming? I know I am me in the bed sleeping while I dream, and also I am beyond that and part of much more.

Dreaming is a gateway. Upon entering your life becomes more expanded and the  sense of self as  multidimensional grows.  The shaman enters, tracks and  follows the dream and works within it. Shamanic lucid dreaming enhances life, both night and day. Now I have been able to  go deeper. I dream within the dream, and wake within one then another dream. Everything is connected. Dreaming is like having access to doorways to other worlds, which open to other worlds and open to other worlds and so on. Your guides and messengers are there waiting, Inspirational muses, healers, warriors, clowns and magicians. They are all there.

You can enter the gateway of the Dream world. Your intention and desire is the key. Who knows who you may meet and the gifts that await your discovery.  Dream On.

Gratitude

The opportunity to take some time and be grateful for all the blessings in our lives is a gift. When we become present to all that life offers us it expands us and connects us to the Divine. The simple act of witnessing the inhalation and exhalation of the breath, that which is life itself, flowing  through us. How simple yet  how profound! What a miracle that we truly are. The Creator, Consciousness, God, the Divine, whatever term you resonate with that connects you to the great mystery of life, is us, and that which is beyond us.  We are never apart from the Source of all that is. It is as close as  the  breath. Yet, we tend to  feel separate. When we separate ourselves, we contract, we become dense, isolated  and the world feels heavy and we feel lost.  There is much heaviness in the world that is for sure. It just is. But we can lighten the world by being grateful, for the gift of life itself. In all of its ugliness, horror, injustice there is beauty and peace and love. Being grateful for the experience of being alive is so very hard when we have experienced traumatic horrific things and we feel separate.  It is a challenge to see the Divine in it all. But it can not be separated.  It is all connected. We are all connected. We cut ourselves off.  We do that within our own minds, and hearts. Maybe if we just could trust that we are Divine beings who have forgotten their Divinity, we could then begin to be at one within ourselves, each other, the world, and that which is the Source of life itself,  and be grateful for the infinite expressions of the Divine in all of its forms, experiences and  paradox. With a grateful heart, Jackie.

Autumn self

It’s not officially winter but the cold weather sure has made it feel like it. Why is it that autumn seems so brief? It feels like once its cold we go right to winter mode. At least I tend to.   The colors fade as quick as the darkness sets in, thanks to the time change and  with the short daylight hours and the cold, I find the  hibernating winter self wants to emerge prematurely and quite strongly.

I believe  that we are connected to the earth, universe and all creation. Being conscious of that connection deepens our sense of oneness with all that is. The cycles of the seasons, are an extension as well as a part of the cycle of our lives. We move through stages of new birth, growth, and death.  These things change over time in what we are focusing on, what parts of ourselves are growing, emerging or being let go of. I ask myself,” are you being Autumn?” Are you part of that energy of slowing down, harvesting summers goods, preparing for the season of winter, of looking at what you are going to let go of.  I ask, “What needs to be released?” What would serve me to let go of? In the letting go we make space for new growth, opportunities and possibilities  to open up.  The trees drop their leaves in order to nourish the earth for the future spring. A blazing glory of color is released as well. A crowning testament to the beauty of letting go.

I feel a bit  like the the  pre-hibernating bear winter self. The darkness brings that sleepy, want to just curl up at home by the fire self out. Autumn to me is like the long slow deep breath of the year. Its good to be as the seasons are. To be able to reflect on our lives at the turning points of the cycles of the seasons links us to the larger self that is beyond the physical. The eternal, the timeless that is held in the construct of the reality of time.

The slowing  down self, has emerged. It has taken some time to get to this blog because of it. Looking out the window I understand the why. Invigorating as the cold is to remind us that we are alive ,as well as  the softer fall light,  the long shadows, all  are all an invitation to be as Autumn is. A  welcome  to just breathe deep. Breath in and you can smell the earthy fecundity of the fallen leaves. Feel  the wind how it  seems to give us a sharper edge as it embraces  the contour of our bodies. Notice the steaming cup of tea next to me waiting for me to sit and sip it, slowly and thoughtfully.

The opportunity to explore all the various perceptions of “self” through reading  has been expanding. I tend to occupy a space of self reflection daily. This is done with the desire to dig up these dense energies that are like chains that keep me locked in to being someone who  lives with the struggle of poverty and all the areas of life that lack of income influences,  as well as the desire to manifest the authentic soul self, who when  expressed creatively and connected to that Divine Self, is free from the shackles that I have  enslaved myself with, as well as the the shackles of society, family, cultural and those people that have influenced my identity.  The shackles of my past traumas in which survival mode  was the state of mind that I lived from,  just gave me the mental focus to show up. I was not able to show up with my true feelings of being betrayed and living in conditions that were harmful to my spirit and emotions. My awareness was in surviving. In time the weight of those chains became too heavy to bear. I had to acknowledge my heart and all of its pain and desire to live, for myself and in ways that allowed for growth and love, not fear.  I had to acknowledge that I was doing for others but not for my own self

This resonated with me in reading Amy Fusselman’s book 8, especially the part when she goes to the energy healer and then finds herself reliving her trauma, which she sees  as  a painting of herself, floating outside of her body, looking down at herself. Most of us do not fully inhabit our bodies, our physical selves. And with good reason. It is a safety mechanism in sorts or a way that we operate  in order for us to cope. I have found that we must fully embody our bodies to be authentic to ourselves. Our bodies are home to the soul, our  spirit essence, the unknowable, intangible, poetic, numinous self,  and these all  are intricately woven together. We are like a tapestry of luminous fibers, streams of energy that flow collecting life’s experiences, feelings, judgements and all that it encompasses. So the shackles are but a strand that weave my story. All the stands are individual  but part of the whole work. I think Amy was seeing herself, taking a horrific trauma and viewing it from a new set of eyes. In viewing herself from what may have been her past experience of disassociation with her body, she could be seeing an emerging internal strength within herself.

Life is like a tapestry, a piece of art, a painting, a poem. It is the full spectrum of pain, trauma and ugliness and with that also the beauty of the human to continue to be inspired, to do the hard work to heal, to transform, to lift the shackles and replace them with  feathered wings  or a necklace made of stars.

One space that I occupy a lot is an interior space as well as physical. I love to sit by the river. I found myself there almost daily this summer. I go to the park that isn’t far from my house and walk the trail to a side trail to get there. As I get off the main trail and step foot amongst the cedar, pine and ponderosa I bow. I bow to the trees that stand there, acknowledging their steady beauty. I ask to be grounded to the earth like they are, to help me get back to my center, that interior space of oneness and alignment. Nature is the perfect teacher and healer for this. If I am not sitting with my back up against the tree trunk, I am sitting down along the bank of the river. I have to take off my shoes and put my feet on the earth, or in the water. I sit and breathe. I just space out, out into all that surrounds me. Meditative mantras will be recited without speaking them aloud, or visualizations to guide and deepen my connection to self and source are envisioned.  The colors are enhanced, the sounds crisper, the sunlight on my skin makes me feel like I am radiating. I become one with and  part of the larger environment of nature, the world, creation, cosmos. I feel this inside and outside of me both. I sit there with this frog who is by the edge of the water as well. We sit in stillness. I pay attention to its presence and the presence of that life force that is  beyond but a part of both of us. Hours can go by. Time has seemed to stretch there. Time to put my shoes back on. Sigh. I say goodbye. I hope to take the sense of peace and stillness with me into my day.